WATCH: Jon Stewart Brilliantly Questions a Possible Bacon Shortage

01/21/2014 at 03:59 PM ET

The Hungry Games are upon us.

With less than two weeks to go before the Super Bowl, not only is the U.S. facing an alleged shortage of Velveeta, but — and you might want to sit down for this one — the country’s supply of bacon may be at risk, too.

On The Daily Show on Monday night, Jon Stewart tackled both subjects, cutting to a reporter who visited a dozen stores and found Velveeta in all but one. So, is the “shortage” just a sneaky marketing ploy?

“Are you implying that the makers of Velveeta would attempt to pass off as real, some sort of blatantly artificial, clearly unnatural, synthetic creation?” Stewart said in mock outrage.

But don’t go thinking you can sleep easy tonight. “A very real, and even more devastating shortage is on the horizon,” Stewart said. According to news reports, a “fast-spreading pig virus” may cause a spike in bacon prices.

At the risk of offending 99.9% of the country, Stewart took the stance that “maybe a bacon shortage isn’t such a bad thing, as it means America has less of the thing that’s killing us.”

As for more details on the pig virus, let’s just say you might not want to know.

But you will want to watch the video above, especially for the impressive montage of bacon-related clips from cooking shows and commercials. Looks like it’s really time to retire the phrase “bacon makes everything better.”

FILED UNDER: Food , Jon Stewart

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The Latest Craze in Disco Styles Is See-Through Jeans—but Beware of Foggy Bottoms
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The Latest Craze in Disco Styles Is See-Through Jeans—but Beware of Foggy Bottoms

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On a clear day, you can see forever—or at least that’s the wicked thought behind L.A. designer Agi Berliner’s transparent idea: see-through jeans. Exhibitionists notwithstanding, most folks wear them over bathing suits or as attention-getting evening wear with halters, garter belts and body stockings. Created for the disco crowd, the $34 jeans are selling like, well, hot pants. In just six weeks, 25,000 pairs have already been sold in such major department store chains as Macy’s, Bonwit’s and Saks.

“What’s limiting American designers is that we’re afraid to do something different,” says Berliner, 32, a Hungarian émigré who fled with her family to the U.S. in 1956. Agi thought up the gimmick in London while marveling at the way plastics were being employed by designers of punk fashion. In her L.A. office, where she designs for La Parisienne junior sportswear, Agi spent five days on the phone and six weeks testing to come up with the right plastic.

Agi herself tried out the French-cut jeans with the zipper in front, and quickly found several problems: Some plastics tore away from stitching, others wouldn’t bend and all fogged with perspiration. The ideal material proved to be a vinyl supplied by a bookbinder. The steam was eliminated with a series of vents behind the knees and in the crotch. “They’re no hotter than polyester pants,” claims Agi, “and if you wear them with tights, they won’t stick to your legs.”

Whatever the discomfort and despite the problem of Saturday night feverishness, discomaniacs report one major advantage of the plastic pants: no laundry bills. To keep Berliner’s see-through jeans clear, all the wearer needs is a little Windex.

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