Keep Your Pizza Near You at All Times with This New Pizza Pouch Necklace

10/01/2015 at 05:26 PM ET

Pizza
Stupidiotic

The worst part about pizza has always been that it isn’t near you at all times. Thanks to this revolutionary new product, that’s all about to change.

A new piece of neckware called the Portable Pizza Pouch, sold on Stupidiotic, allows you to bring your pizza with you wherever you go.

How? By wearing it around your neck as a fashion statement.

Simply fill your zip-locked plastic pouch with whichever type of pizza you desire  pepperoni, olive, veggie, mushroom, oh God, we’re hungry now and wear it with you all day, to meetings or dates or tennis lessons, taking bites as you please.

“Keep and carry a backup slice with this specially designed Pizza Pouch. A durable zip-lock sealing neck-strap pie slice device. Always fresh and ready,” the website’s description reads. “BONUS: Just wearing this Pizza Pouch will instantly make you more popular and attractive. It’s a bold (and delicious) fashion statement.”

RELATED: Insane, Star-Shaped Pizza Blasphemes Pizza Everywhere

The glam and, may we add, super useful piece of neckware costs just $8.00.

Pizza
Stupidiotic

But don’t get too excited you may have to wait a bit for your pouch to arrive in the mail.

“Due to the sudden (understandable) popularity and limited stock on hand, these may not ship until October 18. Be patient. Be strong. They will come,” the website says.

—Maria Yagoda, @mariayagoda

FILED UNDER: Food , Food News , Pizza

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The Latest Craze in Disco Styles Is See-Through Jeans—but Beware of Foggy Bottoms
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The Latest Craze in Disco Styles Is See-Through Jeans—but Beware of Foggy Bottoms

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On a clear day, you can see forever—or at least that’s the wicked thought behind L.A. designer Agi Berliner’s transparent idea: see-through jeans. Exhibitionists notwithstanding, most folks wear them over bathing suits or as attention-getting evening wear with halters, garter belts and body stockings. Created for the disco crowd, the $34 jeans are selling like, well, hot pants. In just six weeks, 25,000 pairs have already been sold in such major department store chains as Macy’s, Bonwit’s and Saks.

“What’s limiting American designers is that we’re afraid to do something different,” says Berliner, 32, a Hungarian émigré who fled with her family to the U.S. in 1956. Agi thought up the gimmick in London while marveling at the way plastics were being employed by designers of punk fashion. In her L.A. office, where she designs for La Parisienne junior sportswear, Agi spent five days on the phone and six weeks testing to come up with the right plastic.

Agi herself tried out the French-cut jeans with the zipper in front, and quickly found several problems: Some plastics tore away from stitching, others wouldn’t bend and all fogged with perspiration. The ideal material proved to be a vinyl supplied by a bookbinder. The steam was eliminated with a series of vents behind the knees and in the crotch. “They’re no hotter than polyester pants,” claims Agi, “and if you wear them with tights, they won’t stick to your legs.”

Whatever the discomfort and despite the problem of Saturday night feverishness, discomaniacs report one major advantage of the plastic pants: no laundry bills. To keep Berliner’s see-through jeans clear, all the wearer needs is a little Windex.

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Kaycee on

More proof of the dumbing down of America.

RickFromTexas on

As much as I love a good pizza, this is a horrible idea! When Pizza Rat hears about this he’ll tell all his friends, we’re doomed I tells ya!

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