What a Time to Be Alive: You Can Now Make Cocktails With Your Own Tears

12/07/2015 at 11:33 AM ET


The concept of “pity drinking” has just been taken to a new and exciting place.

Bompas & Parr, the art studio/food alchemists behind “breathable alcohol” and the New York Museum of Sex’s whimsical “Erotic Fairground” exhibit, are hosting a workshop on December 15th where you’ll be able to make cocktail bitters out of your tears.

RELATED: Powdered Alcohol Is Officially a Legal Thing

“Having difficulty thinking of a present for your friend or lover who has everything? What could be more meaningful than the gift of you…” the workshop’s description reads. “Arguably the most poignant and personal Christmas gift imaginable, the bitter tears will be delicious as well as a decadent gift.”

If thinking about dogs in Santa outfits or the final scene in The Notebook isn’t enough to get your eyes watering, the workshop’s staff will be employing strong-smelling menthol to induce the tears. (If that doesn’t work, participants will have their eyes massaged to draw out the moisture.)

After that awkward process, participants can choose from a variety of spices and herbs to flavor their tears, which will then be mixed with a neutral-tasting alcohol. And there you have it: bitters that let you craft a cocktail inspired by your very own custom sadness.

RELATED: 110-Year-Old Woman Credits Longevity to … Miller High Life?

While the event has already sold out, we hope the workshop eventually makes its way to America. Until then, we’ll continue our nightly routine of crying into our Jack Daniels and drinking that.

—Maria Yagoda, @mariayagoda

FILED UNDER: Cocktails , Drinks , Food , Food News , Travel

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The Latest Craze in Disco Styles Is See-Through Jeans—but Beware of Foggy Bottoms
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The Latest Craze in Disco Styles Is See-Through Jeans—but Beware of Foggy Bottoms

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On a clear day, you can see forever—or at least that’s the wicked thought behind L.A. designer Agi Berliner’s transparent idea: see-through jeans. Exhibitionists notwithstanding, most folks wear them over bathing suits or as attention-getting evening wear with halters, garter belts and body stockings. Created for the disco crowd, the $34 jeans are selling like, well, hot pants. In just six weeks, 25,000 pairs have already been sold in such major department store chains as Macy’s, Bonwit’s and Saks.

“What’s limiting American designers is that we’re afraid to do something different,” says Berliner, 32, a Hungarian émigré who fled with her family to the U.S. in 1956. Agi thought up the gimmick in London while marveling at the way plastics were being employed by designers of punk fashion. In her L.A. office, where she designs for La Parisienne junior sportswear, Agi spent five days on the phone and six weeks testing to come up with the right plastic.

Agi herself tried out the French-cut jeans with the zipper in front, and quickly found several problems: Some plastics tore away from stitching, others wouldn’t bend and all fogged with perspiration. The ideal material proved to be a vinyl supplied by a bookbinder. The steam was eliminated with a series of vents behind the knees and in the crotch. “They’re no hotter than polyester pants,” claims Agi, “and if you wear them with tights, they won’t stick to your legs.”

Whatever the discomfort and despite the problem of Saturday night feverishness, discomaniacs report one major advantage of the plastic pants: no laundry bills. To keep Berliner’s see-through jeans clear, all the wearer needs is a little Windex.

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I was pretty sad when I got to the Namco Bandai booth however and found out they only brought their fighting games to be played there, which I didn’t bother to try. No, not Pixar standard yet, but Rio will more than do for now. Your objective is to eliminate these monsters and escape the ship.
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