Melissa McCarthy and Stephen Colbert Spoofing Chopped Is Both Hilarious and Disgusting
Good news: Melissa McCarthy likes binging on Chopped just as much as you do.
On The Late Show on Tuesday night, The Boss actress and her filmmaker husband Ben Falcone told Stephen Colbert that the Food Network competition is their favorite show to watch with their daughters. Colbert agreed, declaring that he is also “obsessed” with the show.
And so, the late-night host created his own version — called Smooshed, because it’s condensed down to four minutes — for McCarthy and Falcone to go head-to-head.
The mystery ingredients were salted crackers, mini marshmallows and bacon bits. Also available, of course, were the pantry ingredients (which consisted of “whatever we could find in the break room fridge”).
Falcone actually turned out a rather composed dish which he called a “bacon bit marshmallow Saltine” that also includes “just a little bit of pickle for taste.” Like a salty s’more! But, you know, with pickles instead of chocolate. Colbert bravely choked the dish, which he called “both tart and dry at the same time.”
McCarthy, on the other hand, got a little sloppy with the plating of what she called a “Tuscan-influenced rustic hash,” which as far as we can tell is just bologna mixed with mayo, marshmallows, pickles and crushed crackers. Points reduced for her exclusion of the bacon bits, obviously.
Colbert describes the dish as have a “certain amount of testicularity,” which we don’t believe is a real word much less anything we want to associate with eating.
In the end, Colbert declared McCarthy’s dish the victor, which he then proceeded to literally smoosh and shovel into his face.
—Shay Spence, @chezspence