Melissa McCarthy and Stephen Colbert Spoofing Chopped Is Both Hilarious and Disgusting

04/06/2016 at 11:18 AM ET


Good news: Melissa McCarthy likes binging on Chopped just as much as you do.

On The Late Show on Tuesday night, The Boss actress and her filmmaker husband Ben Falcone told Stephen Colbert that the Food Network competition is their favorite show to watch with their daughters. Colbert agreed, declaring that he is also “obsessed” with the show.

RELATED: Watch Melissa McCarthy Spoof Supermarket Sweep in This Hilarious Unaired SNL Sketch

And so, the late-night host created his own version — called Smooshed, because it’s condensed down to four minutes —  for McCarthy and Falcone to go head-to-head.

The mystery ingredients were salted crackers, mini marshmallows and bacon bits. Also available, of course, were the pantry ingredients (which consisted of “whatever we could find in the break room fridge”).

Falcone actually turned out a rather composed dish which he called a “bacon bit marshmallow Saltine” that also includes “just a little bit of pickle for taste.” Like a salty s’more! But, you know, with pickles instead of chocolate. Colbert bravely choked the dish, which he called “both tart and dry at the same time.”

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McCarthy, on the other hand, got a little sloppy with the plating of what she called a “Tuscan-influenced rustic hash,” which as far as we can tell is just bologna mixed with mayo, marshmallows, pickles and crushed crackers. Points reduced for her exclusion of the bacon bits, obviously.

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Colbert describes the dish as have a “certain amount of testicularity,” which we don’t believe is a real word much less anything we want to associate with eating.

RELATED: Alex Guarnaschelli: How I Almost Turned Down Chopped — And Why I’m Glad I Didn’t

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In the end, Colbert declared McCarthy’s dish the victor, which he then proceeded to literally smoosh and shovel into his face.

Shay Spence, @chezspence

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The Latest Craze in Disco Styles Is See-Through Jeans—but Beware of Foggy Bottoms

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The Latest Craze in Disco Styles Is See-Through Jeans—but Beware of Foggy Bottoms

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On a clear day, you can see forever—or at least that’s the wicked thought behind L.A. designer Agi Berliner’s transparent idea: see-through jeans. Exhibitionists notwithstanding, most folks wear them over bathing suits or as attention-getting evening wear with halters, garter belts and body stockings. Created for the disco crowd, the $34 jeans are selling like, well, hot pants. In just six weeks, 25,000 pairs have already been sold in such major department store chains as Macy’s, Bonwit’s and Saks.

“What’s limiting American designers is that we’re afraid to do something different,” says Berliner, 32, a Hungarian émigré who fled with her family to the U.S. in 1956. Agi thought up the gimmick in London while marveling at the way plastics were being employed by designers of punk fashion. In her L.A. office, where she designs for La Parisienne junior sportswear, Agi spent five days on the phone and six weeks testing to come up with the right plastic.

Agi herself tried out the French-cut jeans with the zipper in front, and quickly found several problems: Some plastics tore away from stitching, others wouldn’t bend and all fogged with perspiration. The ideal material proved to be a vinyl supplied by a bookbinder. The steam was eliminated with a series of vents behind the knees and in the crotch. “They’re no hotter than polyester pants,” claims Agi, “and if you wear them with tights, they won’t stick to your legs.”

Whatever the discomfort and despite the problem of Saturday night feverishness, discomaniacs report one major advantage of the plastic pants: no laundry bills. To keep Berliner’s see-through jeans clear, all the wearer needs is a little Windex.

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